In My Darkest Hour
by Restless Goddess
Summary: Set post-Season 4 finale. Tamsin helps Bo survive her darkness. TRIGGER WARNING: attempted suicide.


**In My Darkest Hour**

AN: For everyone who's ever been to that dark place and refused to make the choice, whether alone or with someone to pull you back.

* * *

Tamsin sensed it the moment she stepped through the door of the crack shack: tendrils of death waiting at the fringes to claim its next soul. It was not the lurking anticipation of death itself that made the Valkyrie stiffen and desperately search for the source, though – the nature of its call was more sinister than the end itself. Only one end was as brutal and cold and cruel as this. Only one call was so powerful.

Immediately fearing for Bo, the Valkyrie sprinted for the stairs and took them two at a time to the room where the succubus slept. The sight she came upon made her heart twist in fear even as it broke.

Bo sat shaking on her bed, dagger in both hands. The tip of the blade quivered in the space above the succubus's heart, her white-knuckled grip on the hilt both pulling it back and urging it forward. Her breath came in desperate gasps, tears streaming down her cheeks as she balanced on the edge. And surrounding her in a sickening cloud, death called to her, coaxing her to take that final step into oblivion where it would all go away.

That single moment would forever remain frozen in Tamsin's mind, seared into her memory: the moment the Valkyrie had never been more terrified in all her lives.

Tearing her way through that sinister shroud, Tamsin lunged forward and wrenched the blade from Bo's hands, throwing it at the wall where it embedded itself with a dull thunk. The succubus slumped as she was released from the pull, letting out a single sob and swaying on her bed. "Tamsin," she gasped in a barely-audible plea. The Valkyrie sank onto the mattress beside her and took Bo in her arms, holding her tight.

That embrace was the catalyst. Death retreated without its claim, and in Tamsin's arms, the succubus could break.

Bo howled her anguish into Tamsin's shoulder, clinging to the Valkyrie as she was battered by the unforgiving tempest of despair. Tamsin rocked the succubus in her arms as she sobbed, murmuring soothing sounds into her hair as she rubbed her back. The Valkyrie had never been the comforting type, but the darkness she had just saved Bo from was one she knew all too well, and seeing the succubus caught in its pull was nearly as painful as remembering when she'd felt that pull herself.

"It hurts," Bo gasped between the sobs that shook her body. "Tamsin, it hurts, please, make it stop!"

"I've got you, Bo," Tamsin murmured, tightening her embrace and pressing kisses to the brunette's forehead. "I've got you, Bo, just hold on."

"She's gone. Tamsin, she's gone…"

"I know." The Valkyrie closed her eyes, resting her cheek against Bo's hair. "I know."

There was nothing Tamsin could say that would make this better, nothing she could do to take away the pain shredding the succubus into rags. She could only be there to put Bo back together – to hold her together so the pieces wouldn't scatter away. "Just let it out, Bo," the Valkyrie whispered to her. "I've got you. I'll take care of you, Bo; let it out."

Tamsin didn't know where the instinct came from. All she knew was that suddenly her wings had spread from her back, stretching to their full length before wrapping around the two women in haven. The softness of Tamsin's feathers against Bo's skin brought the succubus back to that moment on the battlefield when the Valkyrie had taken Kenzi in the same embrace before carrying her to Valhalla. _Safe_. Bo was _safe _in Tamsin's wings, and feeling them flutter against her back, the succubus allowed herself to fall apart.

By the time Bo had sobbed herself into exhaustion, brilliant white feathers dripped with tears.

…

Bo clawed her way to disoriented wakefulness feeling worn and miserable. She tried to curl up into a ball and make the world go away again, but she found herself trapped by the warm arms around her waist and the soft but strong body pressed against her. _Tamsin_.

Bo opened her eyes and tilted her head so she could gaze at the Valkyrie's sleeping face. Even in slumber there was a line of worry across her brow, and the succubus reached up a shaky hand to smooth it. When her fingers drifted across Tamsin's skin, the blonde's eyes opened. "Bo," she murmured, lifting her own hand to trace the echoes of tear tracks on the brunette's face.

"I'm sorry," Bo gasped. "Tamsin, I'm sorry."

The Valkyrie cut her off with a shake of her head, pressing a firm kiss to the succubus's forehead. "Don't be sorry. Not for that." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear with tender fingertips. "But it's not the answer, Bo. It's never the answer." When the succubus remained quiet, Tamsin continued, "And don't you dare be ashamed, either. I've been there, too, Bo – to that dark place where all that's left is a choice you never should have been pushed to make. You're not alone, Bo. I'll never let you be alone."

The sincerity in Tamsin's words brought tears to Bo's eyes even as she remembered what pushed her to that place. "Tamsin, she's gone," she repeated, as if saying it over and over would make it easier to accept.

Tamsin pulled Bo close again, rubbing her back. "I know, Bo. I know."

They remained that way in morose silence, Tamsin still holding Bo together as the succubus tried to sort the pieces of her soul. "I have to get her back. There has to be a way to get her back."

"If there is, then you'll find it," Tamsin assured her, knowing full well that it was true. She wasn't fond of the idea by any stretch – it meant traveling to Valhalla and the trading of souls and all sorts of complications with difficult if not nonexistent solutions. And it meant that Bo might go after the Hel shoe, and Tamsin _couldn't _let that happen. But she knew Bo wasn't going to give up until she had Kenzi back, and if that was what kept her going, then Tamsin wouldn't stand in her way. Much.

"You think so?" the succubus asked, desperate.

"I know so," the Valkyrie replied, running her fingers through Bo's hair. "You never give up. That's what I…that's what's great about you."

"But if you hadn't stopped me – "

" – then you would have stopped yourself," Tamsin finished for her. "If not for you, then for Kenzi."

"I thought…" Bo choked. "I thought maybe I could be with her…"

Tamsin's eyes stung as she held Bo tighter. "She wouldn't want that, Bo. As much as it hurts, you have to go on with her in your memory."

The Valkyrie sighed. "I have lived many lives and died many deaths, Bo, and no death is nearly as painful as living, especially when you have to live alone. But you're _not _alone, Bo. As trite as it sounds, as long as you keep her memory close, she's with you. If anyone can find a way to get her back, it's you, but even if you don't, she would want you to go on. You still have people who care about you, Bo. You'll get through this. _We'll _get through this."

Both women knew that it would take time before Bo truly believed Tamsin, but for the moment, it was enough for the succubus to know that she wasn't alone.

Bo snuggled into Tamsin, wrapping her arms around the blonde. "Thank you, Tamsin," she whispered through fresh tears. "Thank you for getting me through my darkest hour."

Tamsin pressed a kiss to Bo's hair. "Any time, succulette."

…

Afterwards, both Tamsin and Bo would insist that it was simply emotional weakness on both their parts.

After that, they would agree that it was what sparked the light between them.


End file.
